Hakikat sebuah perjuangan

Pergi ke pekan beli berangan,
Singgah sebentar di Batang Kali,
Hidup ini jangan berangan,
Kalau tersalah menyesal nanti.

Masjid Shah Alam besar dan indah,
Buat inspirasi hati yang gundah,
Jangan kacau mak cik Faridah,
Nanti melenting menyesal tak sudah.

Bersiar-siar mencari ketupat,
Buat santapan di hari lebaran,
Hajat di hati nak kahwin empat,
Apa kan daya niat tak kesampaian.

Dua tiga kucing berlari,
mana nak sama si kucing belang,
Dua tiga boleh ku cari,
mana nak sama cik adik seorang.

Pantun2 ini menjadi inspirasi di hari2 saya 'down' and tak rasa berapa sihat.

New Zealand: 1st class visit...

Yesterday i went to a beach side near Greytown and Masterton(I couldn't remember the name of this place cause its hard to pronounce, Maori like name, hehhe). The journey took us a couple of hours but the scenery was very beautiful. I liked it very much cause this reminds me of a Glorious God. The beach was scenic and the skies were blue as ever. The weather was not so cold and not so hot. Just right! Over the cliffs i can see sheeps and cows grazing grass. There were stretches of cow farms that are very well maintained.



We tried to find seals over the beach but we only found them as we drove far over the country side.
They were smelly but cute! We found them sunbathing near the rocks beside the beach. At the end of the road, there was a lighthouse with hundreds of steps to climb. After picnicking at the beach, which was relaxing, we climbed the lighthouse and took pictures. The steps were stiff and it took a lot of energy to reach the top but the scenery was great!.




Nuha, Hannah and Haris followed us. Nuha was annoyed a bit because of the winding roads near the hills and hannah asked for 'teh o' along the way. Harris cried now and then but he was ok. I am so lucky abang long and kak long wanted to take us for a ride sightseeing New Zealand. Atuk and nenek were cheerful as ever, playing with the kids to make them happy with the journey. We stopped a while at a town where the kids play at a playground.



I am happy here. The cold weather, the foreign people, the beautiful buildings and houses, and a family makes me feel warm. But once in a while i do feel depressed. I am diagnosed and suffering with depression for over 9 years. Through the ups and downs, in and out of hospital, taking medication and injections, meeting other people with depression and similar illness, crying over problems, made me feel worn. I am still sick and struggling to find myself in the community. I have an ambition to be healthy, to work, to get married and have childrens and lead a normal healthy life. Writing this blog somewhat gives me a chance to share my ideas and feelings with other people. Dear God, please give me the strength to move on with life and face the challenges it throws at me.

Umrah 2011

Tahun ini aku mengerjakan umrah di Mekah dan menziarahi Madinah. Aku pergi bersama emakku manakala abah tidak pergi kerana bertugas di pejabat.


Aku rasa bersalah kerana tidak cek dulu 'itenirary' umrah dari travel agent kerana aku rasa travel agent ini kurang bagus. Hotel di Mekah servisnya tidak bagus manakala kami terpaksa berjalan jauh ke masjid. Bilik air dan bilik low standard membuatkan aku struggle untuk mandi dan tidur. Servis flight (PIA) juga tidak bagus dan perjalanan dari KLIA ke Jeddah dan Mekah tidak smooth.Semasa pulang juga, kami terpaksa transit selama sehari di Karachi. Aku tak dapat lupa yang pihak imigresen di sana telah 'menghilangkan' pasport aku tetapi dugaan itu kutempuhi dengan sabar. Ustaz yang mengiringi ku iaitu Ustaz Khairul merupakan seorang yang pendiam. Mereka juga tidak berteman untuk ke masjid denganku dan bercakap dengan kurang confident.


Tetapi ada juga kebaikannya aku di sini. Daripada struggle yang kuhadapi, aku belajar betapa orang susah hidup. Kita belajar daripada kesusahan yang kita hadapi untuk memperbaiki diri sendiri dan maju ke hadapan. Kesabaran perlu dibina dan banyakkan berdoa pada Allah jika ada masalah. Sabar separuh daripada iman dan perlu sampai bila-bila, pesan seorang Ustaz di Shah Alam kepadaku. Ustaz Bukhari juga berpesan supaya mendinding diri dari gangguan makhluk-makhluk halus dengan zikir dan ayat-ayat al-Quran. Aku juga pelajari, kehidupan perlukan semangat yang kuat dan tempuhi apa sahaja walaupun susah.


Aku juga telah pelajari tidak terdapat banyak kebaikan dalam merokok. Terdapat 80% keburukan dan hanya 20% kebaikan dalam rokok. Aku juga menyimpan tekad untuk berhenti merokok. Pengalaman di sana aku banyak merokok terutamanya apabila ingin bertolak ke Madinah kerana menunggu terlalu lama. Ini pun aku telah usaha untuk mengurangkannya. Harap-harap Tuhan mengabulkan doaku untuk berhenti.


Aku telah berkenalan dengan abang Yazed, Ismail, Jamal, Pakcik Sharif dan abang Bukhari. Mereka sangat peramah dan baik hati walaupun luaran nampak keras. Banyak pengalaman dan cerita yang sempat kami kongsi bersama semasa di dalam bilik dan di dalam perjalanan. Tidak kurang juga dengan kakak Shila, Kak Su dan Makcik Rokiah. Mereka sangat baik dan menolongku dalam masalah yang kuhadapi.


Makanan di Mekah lebih kepada makanan Kelantan manakala makanan di Madinah disediakan oleh orang Indonesia. Alhamdulillah walaupun tidak menepati seleraku tetapi aku masih dapat makan. Semasa di Madinah, aku telah tidur sebilik dengan abang Bukhari. Dia sangat pengemas orangnya dan sedia menolongku bila kesusahan. Banyak yang aku pelajari daripada dia. Contohnya mendinding diri dan berdoa bila memerlukan sesuatu daripada Allah.


Sebagai kesimpulan, pengalaman ini telah menjadikan aku seorang yang lebih matang dan kuat semangat untuk menempuhi kehidupan. Walaupun apa dugaan yang mendatang, aku perlu hadapinya dan berserah kepada ketentuan Allah. Kepada sesiapa yang belum mengerjakan umrah, saya amat menggalakkan anda untuk pergi kerana ia sangat menenangkan dan membina jiwa. Syukur alhamdulillah!

Chiang Mai Trip

I was in Chiang Mai a couple of months ago. First time over there..never been so close to the Sea Games capital somewhere back in 1990's, i think.

So, me and father flew from LCCT to Chiang Mai international airport...the flight was comfortable and i slept every now and then. I predicted that the weather in Chiang Mai would be much cooler than Malaysia but as i arrived there, it was not much different except for the dry air; which made me sweat less...alhamdulillah.

After we arrived, we went straight to Chiang Thai hotel. It was a pre-booked hotel and it was quite nice. Somewhat traditional + modern. Unfortunately we must move to another hotel the day after because we are out of budget. So enjoyed it while it lasts, my time at Chiang Thai, with swimming and sleeping...heh.

That afternoon, we board a Tut tut and went sightseeing around Chiang Mai....=)

I remembered that on the last couple of days, we went to go tigers and touched them! It was a superb experience because you know, tigers are a very hostile animal. I also touched a phython and went to see elephants near a country side garden. The elephants can draw pictures and they bathe too. Me and abah also rode an elephant although the weather was rainy. What a wonderful experience!

All in all, Chiang Mai is friendly and somewhat wonderful. The people are very friendly and the weather was nice.

scribble scribble scribble

1. Kementerian Pelajaran or Kementerian Pendidikan?

2. Baru or baharu?

3. Pemuda UMNO? Putera UMNO? Kelab Putera 1Malaysia? etc..how many clubs u want to create.

4. Obama or Osama?

5. Did Anwar sodomized his wife to get kids?

6. Why bother Palestine and Israel when we have our own problems here in Malaysia?

7. Wahhabi, Sunni, Syiah...........well........pening kepala nak buat wirid ke tak.

8. Rokok dijual walaupun diharamkan?

9. Too many universities in Malaysia....we don't need them.

10. Najib vs. Hadi is better than Najib vs. Anwar.

Self-reflection

My life is mine. It cannot be someone else's because i am in total control of it.
As i'm approaching the end of 2010, i reflected on certain issues that matters.

I am still out of work, although i got the chance to work at TM early this year. Shit happens, i think i need to be stronger to face the coming days because in life, not all things come easy; moreover on career matters.

I did what i wanted to do, still sometimes i don't feel content. I am thankful for the smaller things God had given me. I still have parents that care much about me. They still treat me as if i'm a child. I can't be too dependent on them because one day, they'll be gone.

I worked out, meet friends, live life to the fullest, prayed and face each issues in my life without thinking much. Funny, i only thought of them afterwards, but i think thats the way i treat problems and tests in my life.

Well, i wanted to travel more but i didn't have the chance. I went to Chiang Mai and it was an eye-opener and superb. People there are warmer and friendlier. For me, Thailand is a more developed country than Malaysia(although other people might debate this).

Well, this is my first post since i last wrote last year. I hope there will be more posts... =)

Should i change the style of my writing?

Ok, here goes....

Yesterday i went to KLCC to have lunch with Vandy guys and gals....It was enjoyable but.......i only brought RM 25 ringgit in my pocket. Should i have known GG wanted to 'belanje' us, i should have melantak nasi lemak ayam ke, kuey teow goreng ke....but i opted to eat cendol only....

The ambience were nice and fie and gg was bubbly as used to be. Hahaha....biar la korang cerite pasal org2 nak kawin, aku nak stay bujang and enjoy life still bujang. (Sorry fie, gg, yassir). The gals, only zura dah kawin, i'll be counting days when are you going to get a baby zura...hehehehe...

Then lepas2 tu je, lapar la pulak. Terpaksa guna duit utk makan kat food court klcc. Cukup2 20 ringgit aku makan. 5 ringgit nak bayar parking.....Gee, mahal betul eh makan kat klcc.

hmmmmmmmmmm.......ok tak kalau aku tulis camni? Mcm lebih normal daripada tulis skema mcm biasa....OH well....if you guys want to see my pics, you can visit http://adambakar.fotopages.com.

I'll end this with a thought, is the world flat or round?